Teacup
For this week “Self-Development teachings”, I read a famous proverb about a teacup. There are multiple versions, but the message is the same.
It is the story of a wise Zen master. People traveled from far away to seek his help. In return, he would teach them and show them the way to enlightenment. On this particular day, a student came to visit the master for advice. “I have come to ask you to teach me about all things,” the student said. He was very interested in learning things from the master, asking a lot of questions and being unquiet. When the master started to talk, the student interrupted him repeatedly with his own stories, questions, and ideas, and failed to listen to what the master had to say. The master calmly suggested that they should have tea.
So, the master poured his guest a cup. The cup was filled, but he kept pouring until the cup overflowed onto the table, onto the floor, and finally onto the student’s clothes. The student asked the master to stop and said: “Stop! The cup is full already. Can’t you see?”
“Exactly,” the Zen master replied with a smile. “You are like this cup — so full of ideas that nothing more will fit in. Come back to me with an empty cup.”
I love this story because it reminds us that we need to stay humble, open ourselves to new ideas, and be willing to change our preconceptions.
It’s simple in theory, but difficult to practice. As we get older, we fill up our cups with our past experiences and knowledge. When someone comes along and tries to change our minds, it is too easy to mold what someone else’s words to fit our existing beliefs.
People have so many things to share and it is very important to put your beliefs and opinion aside so you can be open to a new universe. It is not the same as changing your opinion. You can still have your strong opinion about something, or your experience has already confirmed the facts for you. But when we empty our cups, we can see the magic happening. You will see how your relationships will improve and how much you will learn.
Rather than cutting people out, try to say “thank you” whenever someone gives you a piece of advice or share their opinion. Even if you don’t feel like receiving advice from someone, thanking the person will help you to internally become more open to listening to what they have to say, and even make their points of view relevant.
The other way works well too. If you are sharing your opinion and someone says that “Your ideas are wrong”. Thank the person and ask them to elaborate.
It is important to avoid biased, limited, one-side-only type of conversation. When you empty your cups, you let your mind be freely connected to others. People know when you are willing to listen or when you already have your strong beliefs, and you are not open to talk about things. Be open to understand, listen and empathize,
Bruce Lee sums it up nicely: “Empty your cup so that it may be filled; become devoid to gain totality.”
